Tor Johnson

Music and Lyrics by Dale

(WAV file, 345KB)

Verse 1
Bumbling along, Tor serve the evil doctor
For the evil doctor, Tor bumble everywhere
Tor bald pate reflected in the spotlight
Pop above Tor eyebrow, we'd lose Tor in the glare

I'll betcha no one ever call Tor pansy
No one call Tor pansy, call him if you dare
Ed met Tor when Tor was wearing towel
I bet Ed Wood glad he didn't meet Tor bare

Never ever played the hero
But that never made him sore
The biggest Johnson of them all
And they call him, and they call him, and they call him
Call him Tor!

Verse 2
Everybody know Tor was a mighty wrestler
Never got a haircut and never got less strong
Obviously Tor was a method actor
I don't know that method but I can sing along

Tor wore a suit in each of Tor movies
Never wore his panties and never a sarong
Never said a line in any of his movies
Never messed a line up and never got one wrong


Verse 3
The biggest guy I ever laid my eyes on
Wide at the neck; wider than I'm tall
Crow and Tom both make fun of Tor acting
Tor don't think it matter 'cause Tor can crush them all

Tor, king of romance; Tor, Casanova
Tor know what love is 'cause Tor can feel it all
Tor make time with all the pretty lady
Tor go as himself to the costume ball


Verse 4
Made scary movies without a lot of bloodshed
Never used a chainsaw and rarely fired a gun
Splatter pictures hadn't been invented
Tor participated in plenty good clean fun


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